Love Is In The Air,,,D'oh!
by Rixxistro
Summary: A series of humorous oneshots involving a different X:ME couple per chapter...do read
1. Heat Wave

GASP! Its another insanly short fanfic by Rixxi! RUN! FLEE FOR THE HILS! ESCAPE!...cough...or not...

So this is basically a couples fic, each chaper is a little oneshot about a different couple. If you have any requests please tell and I will try my hardest to comply!

If you read this, please review...just to tell me if its any good or if it should be deleted from the surface of cyber space. So read and review, I hope you enjoy, and yes, I already have another chapter waiting...but it only gets posted once I get my reviews!

So yeah...

Disclaimer: The certificate that said I owned Marvel was accidently burnt to a crisp by Pyro and s now a little pile of ashes. ;)

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**Chapter One: Heat Wave **

(also titled: Moy Name Is John)

Pairing: JOHNDA -St. John Allerdyce (Pyro) + Wanda Maximoff (Scarlettwitch)

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Wanda Maximoff was hot.

"Stupid heat wave." muttered the pale skinned goth as she tossed and turned in her bed. Her short black hair sticking to her face and her blankets already kicked down.

She had been tumbling around for at least the last hour. Humidity and heat keeping her awake.

'Great time for insomnia." she thought, as she flopped on her back, staring up at her black ceiling. She glanced towards the window, a clear midnight sky greeted her, a sliver of the moon shone among the stars. She sighed. Air conditioning would have been welcomed, but for the Brotherhood boarding house, that was yet anther lacking luxury. Even a fan would have helped.

Wanda lay there a few moments, cursing the heat and summer all together, until she discovered that her throat was dry. She scowled as she kicked back her red sheets and stumbled out of bed. She managed to maneuver her way though the clutter of the dark room and then entered into the hall. The lights were off upstairs, but the downstairs lights were on, dimmed but still on.

She furrowed her brow as she stepped lightly down the stairs, once she reached the bottom she glanced out into the living room, the lights were on, but neither her brother nor his idiot friends were down there. She narrowed her eyes. "Would it kill them to save electricity?" she thought as she flipped off the light.

She was about to head for the kitchen when a voice stopped her.

" 'ey! Whoyts the bloody idea?"

She blinked and walked back into the doorway of the living room, there was still no body there.

"Hello?" she rasped, flipping on the light and glancing around, still nobody.

"Bloody inconsiderate of ya when a blokes trying to write!"

Wanda furrowed her brow before taking a few more steps into the living room, and then she saw it. Or him rather.

From where she had been standing she had not been able to see over the back of the couch, and now that she could she saw the lanky frame sprawled out on the floor, a mop of flaming red hair met her eyes. There were papers all around him, most balled or scrunched up.

"What are you doing here?" she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. Glaring at the older teen who turned around to glare back. His firey hazel eyes narrowed.

"Whoyt does it look like sheila? Oy'm trying to write!" he snapped back, and then cocked his head to the side. His angered look replaced by one of puzzlement.

"Your Magsies daughter." he said, more a statement than a question. She glowered at him.

"My name is Wanda, and yes, that moron is my father. Now, back to my original question: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" she raised her voice. He blinked and the broke out into a grin.

"Oy'm staying over! The names John, St. John Allerdyce. You can call me John!" He stuck out a hand, she ignored it.

"Does my idiot brother know you're here?" she asked in a cold voice. 'Pyro' shrugged.

"Speedypants? 'Course he does. They all do. Said as along as Oy don't burn anything down Oy could stay."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Why would you burn something down?"

He grinned wickedly, digging in the pocket of his khaki cut offs. Finally pulling out a lighter.

"Because, fire is moy friend." his brown eyes took on a maniacal gleam. She suddenly realized who he was.

"Pyro!" she spat. He looked up and nodded enthusiastically.

"And you can call me John!" he exclaimed, jumping up and sticking out a hand once more. Her pale sapphire eyes narrowed and if looks could kill, the pyromaniac would have been dead.

"Lackey." she hissed, he shook his head, unaffected by her icy glare.

"No, John. J-O-H-N." he said it slowly as if she were a child. "It's short for Jonathan. J-O-N-A-"

"I don't care how you spell your stupid name!" she broke in, "And I know how to spell!"

He grinned. "Really?'Cus sometimes Oy have a little trouble."

She resisted the urge to kill him, and instead opted for hexing him across the room.

"OW! Whoy'd ya do that sheila?" he whined, she stalked towards him.

"Why are you here lackey? Shouldn't you be out running errand for Magneto?" she said the name like it was a disease. He shook his head, otherwise unaffected by her even chillier glare.

"Nope. Ole Bucket head disappeared 'bout few months ago, Oy just decided to come here."

Wanda blinked.

"Where are the other lackeys?" she asked, he sighed.

"Remsie poo and Petey boo are at the base, they wouldn't let me burn things there, so Oy came over here for a slumber like party!" He fondled his lighter again, he grinned.

"And you think we would let you here?" she snapped, hexing his lighter away. He yelped and dived for it, snatching it up before it hit the floor. He then held it up to his face, which contorted in to the image of sterness.

"Bad Sheila! You know better than ta jump off like that." he shook a finger at it, and then held it up to his ear.

"Thats okay Sheila, Oy love ya too." he then pressed the lighter to his lips and slipped it back into his pocket. And then resumed grinning at Wanda.

Wanda, meanwhile, was standing there with a confused look on her pretty face.

"Did you...just talk to your...lighter?" She asked, he nodded so fast his hair seemed like a streak of orange.

"Yep! Sheila is moy lady love." He then cocked his head to the side. "What are you doing up sheila?"

She scowled. "My name is Wanda. I told you that already. And its none of your business lackey." she spat, before remembering why she was down here in the first place. She shot him a glare and stormed into the kitchen.

"Idiot." she grumbled to herself as she opened the fridge and crouched down to get a water bottle, when she shut the door she yelped, and tumbled ungracefully onto her rear.

"Ya know sheila, Oy have a distinct feeling that your trying to insult me by not calling me John." said Pyro, who had came up behind the door. He then noticed she was sprawled out on the kitchen floor and reached out a hand.

"Damsel in distress?" he asked, she glared at him before shooting a foot out and kicking in hard in the shin. He yelped as he reached down and started hopping on one foot.

"What ever gave you that idea?" she smirked wickedly as she got up.

He glared at her, "You're a mean, feisty little sheila." he then grinned, "But Oy like that."he stuck out his hand again. "Moy name's John."

Wanda let out an exasperated sigh. "Why do you think I care?" she uttered before crossing her arms over her chest. He straightened up.

"Oy don't. Why do you think that Oy think you care?"

"What-the-hell-is-all-this-racket?"

Both teens turned to see a grumpy looking Pietro, standing with his arms crossed and tapping his foot speedily against the floor. His silver hair was disheveled and he wore a white wife beater along with a pair of blue boxers. The look on his haughty aristocratic features was plainly and painfully agitated.

He had woken up at the sound of his sister yelping, and had sped downstairs to see his sister, makeup less and scowling, dressed only in a dark red tank top and a pair of black shorts, and a grinning Pyro, wearing his normal clothes.

Wanda glared at him. "Why didn't you tell me you invited one of the lackeys?"

Pyro sighed. "Moy name is John. Not Lackey. John. Thats J-o-h-n. John."

The other two ignored him.

Pietro glared back. "They're-not-lackey's-anymore-and-besides-you-were-sleeping-and-would've-hexed-me-to-oblivion-if-I-woke-you-up."

"It's short for Jonathan, J-O-N-..."

"I would have liked to know, I have a right to know, and I should have known!"

"Well-now-you-know!"

"I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN EARLIER!" Wanda yelled, hands glowing with blue energy. Pietro's icy blue eyes widened.

"Calm-down-Wanda."

"I AM CALM!" she screamed.

"I'm TRYING to sleep here!" called Lance from upstairs. Wanda scowled.

"THEN SHUT UP AND SLEEP ROCKY!"

"Yo cuddle bumps! You need me to sing you a lullaby or I could snuggle with you or something."

Pietro was gone in a flash of silver, a yelp was heard upstairs and a very loud "SHESMYSISTERYOUDWEEB!" and then another yelp and then the silver haired speedster was back.

"I'm hungry." announced Fred as he lumbered into the kitchen, scratching the top of his shaggy bonde mop and yawning tiredly.

"Me too! When we gonna eat mates?" St. John asked, from his seat on the counter.

"When-you-make-something-to-eat." Pietro replied. Wanda growled.

"Thats it, everyone BACK TO BED!"

"But I'm hungry."

"I'm-not-tired!"

"NOW!"

The two brother hood members unwillingly trudged back upstairs and Wanda spun on her heel to face John.

"Oy don't have a bed."

"Then sleep on the couch."she grumbled, before stomping back upstairs with her water bottle.

"Goodnight sheila!"

" Night lackey." she called from the stairs.

"It's John!"

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Weeeelllll...whattya think? 

Please Review So I Can Update Soon!

Have A Pixxi Stick!

Rixxi

_Oh, and here's a sneak preview:_

**"Am not!"**

**"Are too."**

**"Am not!"**

**"Denile ain't jus' a river in Egypt chere."**

**"And yah're ugly mug ain't just on a dart board swamp rat."**

**"Aw, chere, y' got a picture of Remy."**

**"Yeah, it's full of holes."**

**"So y' got a holy picture of moi, Remy's flattered chere."**

_So yeah...see ya next time..._

Rixxi


	2. Telephone Madness

Yay, chapter two is up!

I want to thank all of you who have reviewed (glares at those who didn't) and I hope your all enjoying your pixxi sticks.

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**Chapter Two: Telephone Madness**

**(aka: STOP CALLING ME!)**

**Pairing: ROMY- Remy LeBeau(Gambit) + Marie Darkholme (Rogue)**

Disclaimer: The certificate that said I owned Marvel was accidently charged by Gambie Poo...making it 'Go boom'.

Read. Enjoy. Review.

Oh..and before you read...I apologize before hand for any mistakes/errors/or brutal slaughtering of accents...and if you have any suggestions for pairings or plots please do tell...

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Rogue was sore.

"Man, Ah hate danger sims." she groaned, rubbing the back of her neck as she walked to her room, Kitty sighed.

"I think Logan has like, way too much time on his hands. I mean, he totally spends all his time thinking up new ways to torture us!"

"Three hours of level 8 group training is insanity."

Kitty phased through the closed bedroom door and Rogue, not entirely coherent almost followed her. Except that she couldn't phase.

"Ow!" she hissed, rubbing the spot on her forehead, she growled before opening the door and closing it the old fashioned way.

Kitty had already jumped in the bathroom so Rogue just stumbled over to her bed and flopped face down on her pillows. And was slowly drifting off to dreamland...

Until the phone rang.

She lifted her head and glared at the phone.

"Shut up." she snarled at it, unfortunately it didn't listen to her and rang again.

She groaned before sitting up and reaching for the phone.

"'Ello?" she asked groggily.

"Bonjour chere." greeted the voice on the other line. A smooth, thickly accented voice that purred.

"Go t'hell." she mumbled before hanging up and flopping back down. "Stupid swamp rat."

BRRRIIIINNNGGG.

She picked up the phone.

"'lo?"

"Dat wasn't nice at all cherie, t' hang up on poor Remy like dat."

"If Ah had wanted to be nice, Ah wouldn't have done it. Why're you calling me anyway? Don't yah have some evil deed to do?

There was a chuckle on the other line.

"Non, jus' wanted t' hear de sweet sound of mon chere's voice.

"Scott ain't here right now so go call someone else!" she exclaimed and hung up. The phone rang again. Rogue snatched it up and said a sharp hello into it.

"Dat was low chere, y' know yo' de only chere for dis poor cajun."

"Ah'm not yah're chere!"

"Oui, y' are."

"No Ah'm not!"

"Y' can't deny it chere, we were meant t' be."

"Yah're delusional!"

"Non, yo' jus' in denile."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Denile ain't jus' a river in Egypt chere."

"And yah're ugly mug ain't just on a dart board swamp rat."

"Aw, chere, y' got a picture of Remy."

"Yeah, it's full of holes."

"So y' got a holy picture of moi, Remy's flattered chere."

"Do yah ever talk in first person, 'Cus Ah swear yah talk like this just to bug me."

"Y' know y' like de way dis cajun speaks."

"No Ah don't. Yah sound like a slimy, sleazy swamp rat."

"Mebbe so, but id y' don't like de way I speak, den why y' talkin' on de phone wit' Remy?"

"So Ah can hang up on yah!"

She slammed the phone down.

It rang again. She glared at it.

"Ah am not answering."

It rang again. Kitty stuck her head out...err...through the bathroom door.

"Aren't you like, gonna answer that?"

"No, and don't yah answer it either."

Kitty rolled her eyes and phased back into the bathroom.

The phone rang.

And rang.

And rang.

And rang.

And then after ten minutes, it stopped.

Rogue grinned in triumph. No stupid (albeit however good looking and attractive) swamp rat was gonna get the best of her.

She then lay back down on her bed and closed her eyes to let sleep come.

And then the phone rang.

She growled as she sprang out of bed and snatched up the phone.

"WHAT?" she yelled into it, seething.

"Geeze, calm down Rogue. I've been trying to call for the last ten minutes! Give the phone to Kitty."

"Get lost Alvers." she hung up the phone.

It rang again. She picked it up.

"Ah told yah to get lost!" she growled into it,

"Non, y' just hung up on me."

Rogue shrieked and hurled the phone towards the wall, letting out a stream of curses that would make a sailor blush as she started tearing up a pillow. Once the pillow was properly sacrificed to the icon of phone directed anger, she let out a deep breath and turned around.

To see Jamie and Rahne standing at the door eyes wide and jaws hanging.

"Uh...Gotta go!" Rahne squeaked before taking off, Jamie chuckled nervously before following. Rogue shook her head.

'Stupid kids'

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So...is it any good?

Please please please review...its only a click of the button and some typing (puppy dog face) Do it for Gambit!

Until Next time!

Have a pixxi stick...

Rixxi

Sneak Peak For Chapter Three:

_"Ehhhhhh..." _

_She growled, her almond shaped eyes snapping into angry slits, the deep brown orbs glittering with rage._

_"Prepare to die!"_

_...unless I think of a better pairing...lol (winks) Ciao!_


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